Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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