At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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