Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
