So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
