but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
