Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
