I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
