Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She bit a glass in half.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
