You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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