Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize