batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize