if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
