i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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