We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
