Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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