Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize