I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
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I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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