I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
