i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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