You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
