That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
