Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
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I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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