He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
