3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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