Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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