Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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