Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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