he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
