if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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