idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
