How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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