Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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