Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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