I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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