What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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