Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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