Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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