If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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