Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i out mim tonsoeep
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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