Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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