Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize