wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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