This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
