Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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