And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize