WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
