Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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