Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
