Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is it penis luge time yet?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
