i can't believe i had my finger in that
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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