I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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