i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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