Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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