hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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