Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
