i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
