is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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