She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
