I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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