The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
