my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
