can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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