No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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