Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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