even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
