What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
