the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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