She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
