shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
