have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
